After quite literally «some» time without much engagement with, or enthusiasm for, doing or sharing Photography … I might have found my way back to it again. «What’s changed?» I really have to hope you ask before I proceed to go into unnecessary amounts of detail elaborating the answer to this assumed question.
My Mediocre Instax Phase appeared to come to something of an end shortly after Christmas, possibly due to a combination of moving to London meaning I had less in the way of disposable income to spend on instant film, and the brighter weather that best suits instant film having disappeared for a while – a phenomenon commonly known as Winter.
In the last of my (also increasingly irregular) posts to this website, I mentioned making a bit more of an effort to spend time doing Photography now that I’d obtained a little bit of stability in my life by staying in one place for a little while, as well as making hay while the sun … was still mostly obscured by cloud, but my bikes weren’t around to compete for my free time and attention.
I did then bring both of my bikes to London (rather than just the one as originally planned, allowing a Transport for Wales ticket operative and I to answer the questions of «can you have two cycle reservations for one ticket?» and «how do you plan on managing two bikes?» respectively … it turns out you can have two cycle reservations on one ticket, and that two is almost certainly the maximum number of bikes that one person can possibly manage on a journey involving two trains, two tubes, some functioning lifts, and a decent amount of walking. Like kneecapping people … you just do it. I dye grass.
Such diversions are perhaps why it wasn’t until March that I again made a more concerted effort at reintroducing photography back into its former habitat of my life. The sun was steadily making more of an appearance, interesting patches of light were appearing around the house in the mornings and evenings for my work from home days, and I even briefly considered doing a Project 365 for the first time … before deciding that I didn’t really want to, albeit after taking the camera to work with me on a few office days.
I realised that I wanted less to put myself on the hook for making one photograph every single day, and more to commit to spending more time doing photography properly, intentionally spending time going out and making photographs and seeking opportunities to do so.
The exports from my Lightroom catalogue from this period are numerous in amount – one thing I export is Grain, or as digital photographers call it, Noise. In conclusion, the black and white photographs I had started making in this time, were a land of contrast.
The cynic among us (who also happens to be writing this) might say that what we have here is someone who has been doing Photography for almost two decades making some high contrast, black and white images of everyday things (including, but not strictly limited to, a lawn chair and its shadow) and concluding that they have found their true form of artistic impression. Whatever, it helped me rediscover the joy of creating something I like so, big whoop, wanna fight about it?
It did also help confirm something I’ve long suspected, namely that my natural form of photographic expression probably is Black and White rather than Colour … which I can do, but it’s almost like a second language with black and white being my mother tongue. (Incidentally, I’m more likely to embrace Colour in Spain, with Spanish being my second language, and Black and White comes far more naturally in the UK, my country of birth … this is now almost certainly the subject of a future post, possibly, don’t quote me on this, marvellous.)
I took this partially renewed enthusiasm (or otherwise renewed drive to be enthusiastic) for photography with me to Cumbria at the end of March for a few overdue days of disconnection from my life in London, and it was there that I made another of my infrequent combinations of a bike ride with picture making thanks to the bike I was borrowing being fitted with a pannier, and my being (about 25 years younger and therefore) faster uphills than my companion for the ride affording me plenty of time to make pictures while I waited. The countryside was spectacular, as it is in that part of the world, and being close to the coast there was a little bit of light haze or thin cloud to take some of the edge off of the light, while still being directional and contrasty to my (somewhat primitive in this regard) taste.
I returned to London on a Thursday evening, and was due to depart for the West Country with a friend from Spain on Saturday. After working from home on the Friday elected to use that evening to walk towards the canal which had already become the main artery for my cycles out of the city, but also holds an interest as a piece of legacy infrastructure that I’m tipping to make a comeback. (I would ask Ladbrokes [other bookmakers are available] for odds on this happening but it’s a bet that is likely to pay out after I’m dead … and hopefully so is their industry.)
This plan didn’t last long as, like everyone who has a plan, I was swiftly punched in the face by a photograph I made at the end of my road upon observing the tree blossom being caught in low, highly directional evening sunlight that was also illuminating the clouds in the sky from underneath and thereby providing a highly dramatic background. The light was so good that a group of passing teenagers chose not to mock me for photographing tree blossom in public but instead note that the tree was indeed «well nice for a photo.» This external validation only buoyed me further and, along with seeing all of the evening’s photographs back at home on my computer, led to the conclusion lent to the title of this post … namely that I may not have totally lost it.
The redemption arc for this post is now essentially complete, so I’m going to resist the urge to complete it even further by adding more of and about the photographs I’ve made since those above. I have been enjoying going out and making pictures that I’m pleased with in a way that feels natural to me and hasn’t felt too forced. I’ve even started making some photographs for a few ideas that might become projects – although the flip side of might is always that they may not, and that’s just fine. Having previously reflected that maybe long-term project-based documentary work isn’t necessarily my thing, I’m trying not to repeat some previous errors of putting a lot of pressure on myself to pursue those projects immediately and intensely, but perhaps steadily over time they may develop if I keep them in mind … and just continue to make pictures and enjoy doing so, which is very much the main thing, and what I’m very pleased to have returned to doing over the last couple of months.
You’ll be delighted to know that if you’re still reading this by this point, you can now go about your business and enjoy the rest of your day.
Boutros, Boutros-Ghali,
Owain,
Owain Shaw 